Tempest

Tuesday, 3 July 2007

It's a kids life

I walk everyday. Sometimes I walk fast, sometimes slow and sometimes am too lost in thought to notice the speed. I love drinking water. I drink like a camel. I even sleep with a bottle of water by my bed and get up a few times each night for a gulp or two. So I love opening my mouth wide while staring up at the sky when it rains. I like dust storms. I like the extraordinary charged quality in the wind. I love walking through them even though I need to bend my head low in order to avoid the besieging particles. I love Labradors. I enjoy calling out to every lab I see on a walk and watch it come towards me with a little jump, a wag and a wiggle. I also love kids. I take immense joy in watching them play, yel,l shout, fight, laugh and play again whether in the heat, rain or a dust storm. I love especially listening to kiddo conversations, the vague boasts, the bizarre exaggerations, the ‘my daddy strongest’ syndrome, the blatant honesty. I come away from these conversations always with surprise and envy at the forthright existence. I know all these things make me sound old and boring. But I have been walking in this park and have noticed these little kids play together and I realised how much of an impact peer pressure has on children and their decision making abilities and the evolution of their moral rights and wrong, on their ability to take the initiative.

Meera plays with Rajeev and Malini who are her neighbours. They come from the same social set up and have seen the same kind of life. It isn’t much but subconsciously it still makes an impression on them about the hierarchies of society. They play ‘tag’ and ‘blind mans bluff’ and make a whole load of noise and enjoy themselves silly. Rajeev and Malini always make fun of Sangeeta, the poor girl who lives with the ‘aaya folk’ where they play ‘pakadan pakadai’. They rag Meera and make her feel extremely ashamed when she says Hi to Sangeeta once in a while. They mimic her and call her names and tell her they won’t be friends with her if she continues to talk to the ‘aaya girl’. ‘Bbut but she’s in my class,’ Meera stammers. ‘So go stick with her and catch her fleas’, shouts Rajeev. And so Meera began to ignore Sangeeta whenever the other two were around. I saw Meera and Sangeeta go over to Sangeeta’s side of the living quarters once or twice. The two little girls seemed extremely happy and were giggling over something like all little kids do. But the next time Meera saw Sangeeta when Rajeev and Malini were around she ignored her. I saw Sangeeta’s face drop with disappointment, shame and confusion as Meera turned her back to Sangeeta when she called out to her. I saw Meera flush a little trying to hide her abashment from Sangeeta while calling out to Malini to take the ball.

Rajeev suddenly stopped coming to play for a few days. It was holiday season, so I figured he must have gone out of town with his family. With Rajeev gone, Malini’s visits to the park became erratic. It was then that Sangeeta and Meera could be seen playing everyday. Those two weeks their friendship blossomed and flourished. I saw them play, run, talk, giggle, draw with sticks in the mud and become thick as thieves. Meera was moving out of this place in a few days. I realised that as the wooden boxes began to pile up outside her house and there was a whole load of chaos that can be seen in an Army officer’s home when he is about to move out on a posting.

Rajeev came back, yet Meera would run across the park earlier than normal to Sangeeta’s side of the living quarters so that neither Rajeev nor Malini would spot her. She was embarrassed of being seen with Sangeeta but had become such fast friends with her that she didn’t want to give up on the camaraderie. The day she was to leave Meera was stuck with Malini and Rajeev as the parents were saying goodbye. The kids were cracking jokes and enjoying as usual.

I saw Sangeeta walk up the path to Meera’s house then. She wasn’t alone, there was a man walking beside her. I am guessing he was her father. She had a little gift wrapped package in her hand. Meera saw Sangeeta coming and suddenly detached from her two friends and went towards her. Sangeeta gave her the gift, which Meera quickly tore open right there. Malini and Rajeev walked up to her, saw the two tiny little plastic dolls wrapped up in the gift paper and exclaimed ‘How cheap! Couldn’t she have gotten you something better?’ Embarrassed, Meera turned to Sangeeta and asked ‘Aur kuch nahi la sakti thi?’ Sangeeta gulped a sob and with tears running down her cheeks took hold of the man’s hand and walked away. I think I saw a look of anguish and uncertainty on Meera’s face, like she wanted to run after her friend and apologise. But she didn’t. She just stood there and watched Sangeeta leave.

I don’t know if she felt bad or guilty. I don’t know if she felt remorse later. I don’t know if she will remember Sangeeta or the incident in her later years. But it was as simple as that. Her peers had such an influence on what she thought or did; she didn’t strike out and do what she wanted to. Most of the times when we are growing up or going off to college, our parents advice us to avoid bad company, not to get tempted to smoke or drink. What we all forget is that peer pressure affects a lot more of the basic issues, of what we would stand up for, whether we would, what would make us take the initiative and how much harder the peers can make this for kids.

Not bad for a walk huh?

Posted by Pavitra :: 09:51 :: 10 comments