Tempest

Monday, 5 February 2007

Beyond Newton's laws?

'Nobody is indispensable'

This reaction from my father I found extremely unnecessary when I was excitedly regaling to him a moment of appreciation from my boss, my first boss. I still remember the statement. I don't exactly remember the context for its utterance but I do remember the words and the tone. No, it was not admonishing in nature and his voice held a hint of pride in it. A hint but, I nonetheless remember it. But there was something more, something subtle in its deliverance. It had gravity to it. The underlying tone of these softly spoken measured words was 'remember this’. In my tiny insignificant moment of triumph, I did not stop and ponder over the words and took them as another set of sermons from a father. In obvious oblivion I missed their import.

Exams are about performance. The joy behind every game played is to have the spirit to win and give the opponent their toughest fight. The exhilaration that comes with fighting fair and square…the justice of both players knowing it and being in it for the same reason; to play, to give it their best for the moment and know that they tried, inevitably to be followed by the sweet sweep of satisfaction. It is healthy this urge to compete. A job is about loving the tasks facing you and knowing you will endeavour to rise to the situation. Failure and success are only the corollaries. Competition is basic to survival. It makes you feel alive. It is supposed to be your most potent aphrodisiac. It makes each day worth living.

Side effects. Every thought, every phenomenon, every action has side effects. This according to me is the most important translation of Newton’s third law of motion. The most major one is human insecurity. Can I? Will I? How will I be able to? Could I do it better? Should I even try (I mean he is so good)? I do not think we were born with these insecurities. A baby moves forward from crawling, to baby steps and baby totters to baby walk and baby talk, all with a smile. We gather and store these insecurities as we grow older and see other babies of our size doing cart wheels (imagine that!) and other such brilliant feats. We underestimate the value and beauty of some of our own little feats and learn to question our abilities at all stages all our lives. In a way self doubt is good. It eggs you on and makes you want to do better and fly higher and give yourself one more chance. But bigger doses of it lead to malfunctioning of sorts.

Fear. Different people relate to the term differently. I do not want to sound drastic, but I perceive it in every mind that walks past me, its stench in every breath I take. Insecurities do not just hit when faced with a new task anymore. They are a constant. Everyone seems to be living with them today. The competition to do well, to succeed, to earn money or to just exist is extreme. Man faces it in each of his waking moments. You cannot be having a low day anymore, a day when you just aren’t feeling as bright as usual. There are thousands waiting to grab your job. Thousands who do not believe in playing fair, thousands whose circumstances have forced them into forgetting the rules of ethos, thousands with probably better ideas than you. What if I cannot think of something different and brilliant tomorrow? What if I am not as efficient tomorrow and my work is slightly shoddy? What if my colleague understands this new software recently installed more easily and effectively than me? One cannot rest. One cannot believe in a secure world because there is none. One cannot hope to rely on past laurels.

The law of constant performance prevails.

There is talent everywhere. People find their calling and excel in various different fields. You need to be good to be on top, to get anywhere. But what happens to those who are not naturally gifted?

‘Nothing comes to me naturally’, has forever been my woe. I can never just touch something, learn it and then be able to do magic with it. There isn’t one thing that people can blindly turn and say ‘oh ask Prude she’ll know’ or ‘oh ask Prude she does it amazingly’. It makes you wonder if you’ll ever measure up and be somebody markedly different.

Then you realise that you cannot waste the precious little time you have on the insignificant disaster that took place at the time of your birth when God forgot to give you the gift of some special ability. You need to understand that nobody can push you forward if you do not wish to move. You need to look beneath the few rocks and try to understand your relative strengths.

‘There is no substitute for hard work’.
I realised that my sincerity and hard work is all that I have to offer. One needs to understand one’s own limitations, while at the same time pushing one’s limits. Talent is something to be proud of and envied yes. But the small acquired abilities attained through hard work are to be cherished and loved fiercely and kept on the mantelpiece of one’s life as symbols of great pride. Self encouragement - it eggs you on more. Am not talking optimism here but careful evaluation of one’s abilities, dealing with what does not come naturally and trying hard to spend each moment in productively learning as much as possible.

I call it fortifying oneself.
It is like carving a statue out of stone i.e. carving your own self slowly and painstakingly. With each little thing learnt, you chip away at the stone and shape it. It is about looking up, stumbling, applying some ointment, learning from those who do not stumble and from those others who do and shaping yourself the best way you can. It isn't about how perfect the statue is in the end. Hell, it may not look remotely like a stutue, but it was made by you. Your efforts went into it. Learn to appreciate them. It is about investment. It is about the satisfaction of toil and acceptance.

I am what I am.
I cannot be you who sings amazingly well, writes splendidly, has brilliant mathematical processes, orates like a God, creates magic with photographs and pictures and engineers beautiful craft. But I can work with what I have, add determination and hard work to my being and try to be good at all those things. It might be harder for me, but that will not deter me from trying.

Daddy says, ‘Nobody is indispensable’ but his tone says, ‘for the time that you have you can make yourself invaluable’.

Labels: hard work

Posted by Pavitra :: 04:31 :: 8 comments